I think the only thing more horrifying to my mother than my suicide is my turning to the dark side: the Trump side.
(If those of us who are suicidal and FAILED at suicide cannot laugh at ourselves, others will think we are not as desperate as we really are.)
Why did I spent over 10 bucks to buy two (came as a set) Trump/Pence bumper stickers?
I swore I would never support Trump, the man who: suggested W. was at fault for 9/11: implied Ted Cruz’s dad help assassinate JFK; said McCain wasn’t a hero because he got caught; accused Megyn Kelly of ‘being on her period; announced that he would shoot a random person in the face in Times Square and still have his devoted followers; maligned all Muslims, Hispanics, oh hell, anyone not WASP; broke my Rubio; claim ignorance about David Duke; insult the Jewish community; and said that poor people are poor because they don’t work hard enough.
So why did I buy a Trump/Pence bumper sticker last night and turn to the Dark-Side?
First, Mike Pence he is a good man. I think. I could be wrong. I thought T. was a good man too. He is an “Evangelical Catholic”—no this is not an oxymoron. I don’t think Mike Pence with pair up with Lucifer. Nor do I think Newt Gingrich or Rudy Giuliani would endorse him, if he were Lucifer.
Second, if I did not know all the shit I know about what Trump has said and JUST heard his really, freakin’ long speech last (I had to got the bathroom) I would be inspired.
Third, I want something to believe in. I want to believe in the exceptionalism of America. I want a hero. (W. was that for me in 2000. He was the first candidate for whom I could vote who inspired me.) 2016: Rubio wasn’t it. I peeled his bumper sticker off my car in pieces, like Rubio’s heart. Kasich wasn’t it. His bumper sticker came off whole.
Regean is dead. There will not be another Reagan. It’s like Lincoln—can there ever be another Lincoln? Can there ever be another Ronald Reagan? Can there ever be another Camelot? Not right now, that’s for damn sure.
I voted for McCain in 08 knowing that he would probably lose. Oh, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. I was in the midst of a harrow and traumatizing divorce when Romney ran. I didn’t vote because I was in the hospital. But I remember watching Ohio go to Obama and feeling numb. In my mind, if we could get Obama (who forced Obamacare down our collective throats as my administration forced educational policies down my throat) to leave office, I could get my ex-husband out the my house.
He lived with me for six moths after I filed for divorce. He has “nowhere” else to go and what fun it was to rage psychological warfare on me, the “fucking retard” (his words). I don’t hate Obama. I think he is too liberal and a lot too Black Lives Matter, but I would totally sit down and have a smoke with him. You think he doesn’t still smoke? Fuck yes he does.
So in my mind ejecting Obama and my ex were one in the same. I was in the hospital with ulcerative colitis over the election. I asked the doctors the day I was admitted, bleeding profusely, to check my blood for toxins and poisons, because I thought Asshole (ex-husband) could have poisoned me. My dad, who was with me the whole nine days-God bless him-said he wondered the same thing, but didn’t want to upset me. I know the Obama—Asshole connection was sophistry, but in my mind they were one in the same. I just felt numb when Romney lost. Surreal. Another thing in my life that went the exact opposite of how I had hoped and prayed.
There’s a saying that Democrats get excited about their candidate and fight for him. Republicans, until now, may not be passionate about a candidate, but wearing our penny-loafers we will get in line dutifully behind the Establishment Candidate: Romney.
I had my heart set on Rubio in 2012 for this election cycle. He inspired me. Paul Ryan inspires me. Hillary Clinton CANNOT be in the White House as the first female President. Nope. Uh-huh.
I have been thinking in the past few days. Trump is not a stupid man. Melania has style that Michelle never had! But I digress. Trump is a billionaire successful business mogul. All of that bullshit he spouted, the perceived impulsivity, the bullying—I think it was carefully calculated. Trump knows how to work people—the crazier he got, more media attention he got. I think he started out on a lark, but then thought, “Shit! I can do this!” I think the speech he gave last night was far closer to the real Trump than the one we’ve been seeing in the media. I think he may act like he’s crazy—but he’s just really crazy like a fox. Trump is far more calculating than we think.
I want him to go for the jugular with Hillary. She is bad, bad, bad. I hate her more than Trump. And you can’t fake good kids. For years the media had no alliance to Trump, but we never heard anything about his kids going off the rails. (Cough. The Bush twins.)
There are many sides to Trump and they are all very deliberate.
Lastly, the world is fucked up. First world countries—France and Belgium are under attack. Then there’s turkey, Boko Haram, ISIS, Putin, North Korea. We are at war. England up and left the EU. Cameron resigned, the other contenders dropped out and May stepped in all within a week. Cops are being assassinated in our streets. Political Correctness is out of control—safe spaces, trigger warnings. Our Vets are suffering every minute of every day without help from the VA. Cops assassinated in our streets. Think about that. Police being executed in our streets.
What if we really do need something radically different? What if that is the answer? Something has got to change—it just has to change. Our established politicians couldn’t get it done—maybe we need to play a Trump card. I have never, in my lifetime, even during 9/11 felt that our country was so divided and dangerous. America is on a precipice. We need to do something different, because the status quo is not working.
I ain’t becoming no Trumpeter, but I’m finding reasons to re-think my stance on Trump.
BUT ONE THING IS CLEAR--TRUMP IS NOT REAGAN, NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.
PS--Sorry mom, but at least I am above ground.
Smoke ‘em if ya’ got ‘em. God Bless.
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