Swimming With God

Dear Hearts,

Quick and Dirty.

I want to draw and chill-ax. Tomorrow is Star—the ritual work came back as I looked at it today. I am not as stupid as I thought.

We had family here over the weekend. I was describing swimming with dolphins and Walter, (a cousin by marriage?) who cannot swim and is not comfortable in or on water. He said dolphins were way too big for him to swim with. I said how amazing and “religious” it was. Like—again touching God. Seeing some ancient or primal or good in our Souls via our reflection in the dolphin.

“You can swim with them and they communicate with you. You dive together and they talk to you underwater.

“There’s that smile,” he said.

A genuine smile from my Soul.

Then I described the unbelievably, amazingly blue, calm waters of Fort Lauderdale.

I was with T. who was drunk. But my experience in the ocean and with the dolphins was separate from him.

I remember wading into the calm ocean waters and dipping below the surface—when I reemerged I remember thinking, “I am glad to be alive.” When I touched the dolphin for the first time, I remember thinking “The world goes way beyond Teaching and all that shit.”

Huh. Fort Lauderdale Ocean and dolphins. Nebraska. England.

I really wish I could swim in ocean right now and feel that free.

Saint Jude, Christ, Mother Mary, God—please help me find peace about My House and drive out the demon that invades my mind ALL OF THE TIME with thoughts of My House and that whole situation.

Please…Help…

Smoke ‘em if ya’ got ‘em. God Bless

In the name of The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; Mother Mary, Saint Brigid; Saint Jude; Saint Therese Lisieux; Saint Peter; Archangel Michael, and my Guardian Angel, Jed.

PS: I go into The Burning Bed the next two days. I don’t want to. If I just motherfucking forced myself—could I get a full-time job and just do it. Am I just a lazy, fucking pussy? Is My House and Albatross or a Blessing.  Mother Mary, Undoer Of Knots…please.

PPS: I had no idea dolphins had ancient Celtic and Christian roots!

PPPS: Thank you, Saint Christopher, for getting Johnny and Gaia safely to their destination--even if you yourself would never even go there!

“Oh, like a bird on the wire

like a drunk in a midnight choir

I have tried in my way to be free.” Leonard Cohen

Grateful For:

Angel

Dolphins

Knowing how to swim well

Family

Faith