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Dear Hearts,

I just feel restless. On edge. Jumpy. Like there’s a big storm coming.

Not increased anxiety necessarily, just jumpy. Like I will feel when ______ happens. But what the fuck is ______?

I have felt this non-suicidal or non-depressed in I can’t remember when.

Oh, I still have my episodes.

But, I can’t focus. Like I am jumping around on drawing projects. I am rushing through this post although I don’t know why.

Is this what Living is supposed to feel like? I hope not. Maybe Shrink upped my Wellbutrin too much. I am just like all over the fucking place.

WTF is wrong with me? Am I just a perpetually miserable person?

Smoke ‘em if ya’ got ‘em. God Bless

In the name of The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; Mother Mary, Saint Brigid; Saint Jude; Saint Therese Lisieux; Saint Peter; Archangel Michael, and my Guardian Angel, Jed.

Grateful For:

Cigarettes

Aunt Faerie’s pumpkin muffins

Health

Days off

Angel

UPDATE: So I feel like fucking manic. I am skipping into the kitchen. Twitchy. Twitchy. I think something and I think it again in echo. This is the strangest fucking feeling. Now I am shaking. I just want to run around outside shouting "woot! woot!" WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? OMG am I going crazy??

I was able to sit and color.

This does not feel good.