Christmas

Hope you guess my name.

I have a pretty good Christmas track record with My Good Friends. I even lost a few yesterday and today. I felt really good about that. That’s the nature of my game.

But, Goddamn Kate.

I was with her through the whole Holiday. Oh, don’t think I don’t have The Power, because fuck, yes, I do.

She had episodes—a couple of really bad ones too. Actually, it was around Friday that I felt her withdrawing from me a bit. She started listening to Christmas hymns as she fell asleep. She sought out Christmas movies. Egg nog. Cookies.

Last night, the celebration of Christmas with G-Pa, Aunt Faerie, and family—she actually had a moment or two of enjoyment.

Her stupid bitch cousin gave Kate a gift certificate to her favorite coffee place. Kate actually hugged the bitch and got teary when she whispered, “Thank you so much. I have no money. I’m sorry. You didn’t have to do this.” Her cousin said, “Yes, I did.” Dumb bitch. Kate can’t afford to buy coffee at her favorite coffee place and now she has a gift certificate that is all special to her.

Her fucking Aunt Faerie gave her chalk pastels so she can expand her drawing—which sucks by the way. Aunt Fuck-You was very generous with Kate.

Sitting in the living room, her dead Gram’s Spirit was there. I was not at all cool with that. But, I haven’t any power over Gram. Kate felt that “warmness” she talked about in her previous post.

Oh, I made sure to remind her that she sucks. That she is a fucking failure. Her cousin teaches college and Kate is on disability. Her cousin has a daughter. Not gonna happen for Kate. Her cousin even has herself a decent man. Don’t hold your breath, Kate.

I made sure to remind her that she was not at home with her precious Mommy and Daddy and Sister and Johnny too. They were nice enough to send texts throughout the day. I told Kate in no uncertain terms that she is a loser and is “exiled” in The Holy City for a reason. Kate, you haven’t even hit the worse suffering yet. When you do, I’ll be there, bitch. I reminded Kate that she will never be “happy” again—that she is always gonna be in the Well and The Darkness will always be there. 

I kept those past memories of Asshole and T. coming—all the worst ones. I whipped those demons in her head into gear like Ramsey with the Jews.

Then she went to fucking Church. I tried to convince her not too. I can’t actually go into the Church with her. But I can make sure she feels her worst before she gets there. And, I remind her that God hasn’t made this go away yet—so don’t be hoping, Kate…

She had time to say the Rosary and talk to God, Christ, Mother Mary, St. Therese, St. Jude, St. Peter, Archangel Michael, Saint Brigid, and Jed.

God has her on this verge of this big fucking promise he wants her to make. Goddamn, Kate. I think I can probably get her tomorrow. Now, that Christmas is over and she is closer to D-Day.

That bitch just kept shutting me down. She actually “enjoyed” Christmas thanks to Aunt Faerie. Oh, but I am persistent.

“Kate, I own you bitch. Don’t you forget that. Don’t go making promises to Them…What have they done for you? I am always here for you. See you soon, fucking retard. Ring any PTSD bells? That’s right—you’re a fucking retarded bitch, who is selfish, bad in bed, and a just fucked-up cunt who burdens your family.”

Don’t hate the playa’. This is the nature of my game.

                                                                                    CD

Smoke ‘em if ya’ got ‘em. God Bless

In the name of The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; Mother Mary, Saint Brigid; Saint Jude; Saint Therese Lisieux; Saint Peter; Archangel Michael, and my Guardian Angel, Jed.

PS: “Joy to the world, the Lord has com, let Earth receive her Gift…Star of Wonder Star of Light, Star with Royal Beauty Light, Westward Leading, still proceeding, Guide us to Thy perfect Light…Let Us Adore him, Christ, the Lord…Glory to God in the Highest… Thank you Mommy, Daddy, Sister, Johnny, Aunt Faerie (you did it), G-Pa, Cousin, and God for a better Christmas than I…well, just thank you. I love you.

PPS: It’s not about gifts and stuff—it’s about Love, Family, Christ, the Best Things…Kate

PPPS: God, Christ, Mother Mary--thank you for saving Gaia's life.

PPPPS: This isn't the life I expected, but it's the life I have. I'm still holding on. I believe in the Light. God I will have an answer for you on that promise before the New Year.