Morality and Fear

Dear Hearts,

This post will be another quick and dirty one. We are leaving for dinner at 5.30—but in G-Pa time that is really 5.20. And, then the debate is one tonight. God help us.

Last night I watched Basic Instinct. Man, is that movie old! It brought back a lot of memories. Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas were so young. And, the movie was considered to be barely appropriate. That was 1992. If you don’t know anything about Basic Instinct, there is a lot of fucking for fucking’s sake and killing. 

So, why are we so surprised that Trump talks dirty on a bus with other guys? No, what he said was “polite.” But, come on—he wasn’t talking about raping anyone. That’s a huge stretch. I think he needs to apologize to Melania more than anyone. But, wait…I can recall conversations with friends and my sister that if they were recorded would make me look really crude and even immoral. Oh my goodness—the conversation Gaia, Johnny, and I had about T. after I ended with him. Let’s just say I skewered his virility.

Am I immoral? Some would say yes—hell, a priest told me I was an adulterer and fornicator. But, no I am not immoral. It was talk. It was being “naughty” with people you trust. I am not suggesting that Billy Bush was Trump’s confident—but he was bragging. I was humiliating T. with my words to my sister and Johnny. Would I ever want T. to hear that? No!

Trump is no damn different than Bill Clinton: a cigar, the Oval Office desk, and an intern? That’s just—ewww. We just heard Trump saying things that Clinton did and probably said.

I don’t like Trump. I think he is an immoral person. I think he was a lot of faults. He is not worthy of Reagan’s GOP, but I CANNOT in good conscience, in my heart of hearts, believe that Hillary is better. They are both unworthy of the presidency. But, they are all we’ve got.

A write-in is a vote for the other side.

Ryan, the Bushes, Romney, Kasich—they are abandoning Trump to save themselves. I admire those men. I believe they are good men.

I got an email from Kasich about how he will not vote for Trump.

Okay. So, the GOP Establishment wants Hillary as president? We have schools being shot up, police being assassinated in the streets, and women and children who are being abused, we have real foreign threats…This is an important election.

So, Mr. Kasich (I have your campaign pin.) What am I supposed to do? W. who am I supposed to support? I could write in Kasich or Rubio, but that’s a waste. I refuse to just waste my vote for this presidential election. (Yes, the electoral college is flawed and not every vote counts, yadda yadda.)

The GOP Establishment failed when they allowed Trump to get as far as he did. Are they really going to cut off their noses to spite their faces?

Society has changed drastically over the years for the worse and better. Trump is just a product of this Society. In my Burning Bed class, I was given a sheet with tips for “self-care,” so you won’t burn out. Sex and masturbation were two of the tips.

Excuse me?

Look at 90% of the TV shows today—and sex is treated as entertainment. The Bachelor promotes respect of women? In The Mindy Project, the star fucks everyone she can. She’s encouraged—she can only live so long without sex!

In 1992, it was shocking that a woman announced that she liked fucking for the sake of fucking. In 2011, Fifty Shades of Grey was a national phenomenon.

There is no morality or religion brought into the dialogue.

Why are we really so surprised at Trump’s behavior? Our Society condones this behavior.

No, I am not being all Catholic and self-righteous, I love some of these “immoral”—okay a lot of these “immoral” shows. That doesn’t make me immoral. I respect myself, try to care for my fellow man, and try to follow the laws of God.

I have a foundation and a grounding that is immutable. My Faith. My values.

Society doesn’t have Faith or values. Or, they change every day. (Religion: Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Islam, Buddhist—some Faith.)

Cosmopolitan Magazine: Orgasm Better in Three Simple Steps! We’ve come a long way from Lucy and Ricky being in separate beds to magazines teaching you how to have better sex.

I can watch The Sopranos, but choose to act differently. Morality isn’t always black and white, but are Objective Truths: Rape, Child Abuse, Animal Abuse, Lying to Hurt Others, Adultery, Stealing, Murder, Domestic Abuse, Degradation of Others, Racism, Sexism —everyone would agree these are bad things. These are Objective Truths taught by every legitimate religion.

I can separate fiction from real life. Or what I’d like to do from I should and will do.

I think Society has lost that as a whole. So from a Society that worships artificial beauty, material objects, and sex—why does Trump even shock us? He’s just being honest to the Society in which he lives.

This post was fast and dirty.

The debates will be on soon. God Save America.

SIDE NOTE: Last night at 11 p.m. I had an episode and today going with Aunt Faerie to our weekly café for coffee and pastries, I had an episode.

I feel like the darkness is creeping back in. Objectively, I had a good day. Slept in. Read the Post. Gamed. Went out with Aunt Faerie. Went out for a great omelet at dinner—then why do I feel sacred? Tomorrow I am volunteering at Burning Bed. The world is so scary out there.

If I had more Faith would I be less scared? Maybe. I dunno. I don’t claim to be a good person—just not blatantly immoral. But will these episodes ever stop? Will I ever feel safe?

I don't even feel like coloring. That means the demons are at work. Maybe I just need to get used to and learn to live in the fear. Fear, fear, fear...

Smoke ‘em if ya’ got ‘em. God Bless

In the name of The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; Mother Mary, Saint Brigid; Saint Jude; Saint Therese Lisieux; Saint Peter; Archangel Michael, and my Guardian Angel.