Dear Hearts,
I willingly chose not to go to Mass today. I willingly and knowingly committed a mortal sin.
“A serious, grave or mortal sin is the knowing and willful violation of God's law in a serious matter, for example, idolatry, adultery, murder, slander. These are all things gravely contrary to the love we owe God and, because of Him, our neighbor.” EWTN
Long before I became Catholic—in my heathen pagan days—I had issue with the law of going to church. God is omnipotent and omniscient, so isn’t He like everywhere?
Notice the phrase: “violation of God's law.” Huh. So, God told the venerables who created Cannon Law—Post-Vatican II--that Catholics have to go to Mass every week. Or, on Saturday after three p.m. I wonder what God really thinks about the whole fish on Friday thing? The Church changed its mind on that.
“It is both a precept of the Church and Church law that Catholics must worship God on Sunday and Holy Days of Obligation by participating in the Holy Mass. This follows from the fact that in the Mass it is Christ Himself who worships the Father, joining our worship to His. In no other way is it possible to adequately give thanks (eucharistia) to God for the blessings of creation, redemption and our sanctification than by uniting our offerings to that of Jesus Christ Himself. Following the example of the Old Covenant the Church does this weekly, on the day of the Lord's Resurrection.” EWTN
Okay. So, the reason we must go to Mass it that Christ worships God on that day and then joins us to the Trinity through the Eucharist. Christ doesn’t worship God any other day of the week? Well, yeah he does. Every day there is Catholic Mass. But we only have to go once a week. Just like confession changed from weekly to once a year. Oh, and those Holy Days of obligation—if they fall on a weekend, Monday, Tuesday, Friday—the Church can moosh going to regular Sunday Mass and the Holy Day of Obligation together. Huh.
Also, the Church used to say, Pre-Vatican II, that only Catholics went to Heaven; that proposal is more negligible now. A lot more.
“So the church imposed a rule obligating Christians to attend Mass at least on Sunday. Sunday had become the day of worship, rather than the Jewish sabbath, because it was the day when Jesus rose from the dead. The obligation to attend Mass on Sunday is a Church law, not a Divine commandment like the 10 commandments.” Busted Halo The Catholic Channel Sirius XM
Ah, so going to Mass is not a Biblical command. Huh. Church law once stated that women had to wear veils to Mass, but now we don’t have to. There was also this thing about the Mass in Latin.
"If we don't feel in need of God's mercy and don't think we are sinners, it's better not to go to Mass…” Pope Francis
Pope Francis’s point is that we are all sinners and ought to go to Mass.
Jesus said something similar about the sick needing Mass the most. That’s why for so long divorced people could not take communion—because perhaps an abused woman needs Christ and Communion more than ever—but too bad for her because she is a sinner. Wait. That contradicts what Pope Francis said.
DISCLAIMER: I love the Catholic Faith. I am faithful to the Mother Church and Pope Francis. The Catholic Faith has saved my life and absolved me of many sins. But—the Catholic Faith is rooted in Christ. Yes, there are rules that the Church has that I understand whether or not I agree with them.
Marriage: a man and a woman with the purpose of procreation. So, that cuts out gay marriage. But, also any marriage where people choose not to have children. Homosexuals ought to be celibate—as we are all called to be until married. And, no-no to the Pill.
Didn’t Pope Francis say something about Mercy, Love, and Compassion superseding all those rules?
I love that Catholicism has rules. I know what I am supposed to do. I love the Catholic Church, Catholic Faith, Pope Francis, “Glory Be to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,” and “Hail Mary Full of Grace.”
I love being Catholic. Because of the Catholic Faith I have reconsidered my position on certain things—abortion, the death penalty, euthanasia, etc. I love going to Mass. But, Catholics are not the majority in The Holy City and my diocese is part of the push-back against Pope Francis. He was another reason I became Catholic. I love Mass and go several times a week if I can. But sometimes…especially since moving here…
There are a lot of fucking rules in the Catholic Church. You ever read the catechism? Yeah, me either. And some Catholics, like any religion, take the Faith to WNL (whole other level). They can be cultish and overly zealot. My Dad is a Mason. I am an Eastern Star. On my soul, those things are not mutually exclusive with the Catholic Church.
I would die for my Faith.
Nan (my paternal grandmother) was a big reason for me leaving Christianity. I was raised Protestant. She used to tell me when I five that the communists might come and ask me if I believed in Jesus. If I said no, I’d go to Hell. If I said yes, the said communists would shoot me. Wow, thanks Nana. Way to make me feel good about God. Telling me that she prayed for my father’s soul to be saved from Hell, (screw my mother), and that my very best friend was possessed by Satan because her parents were Atheist—those were really helpful too. But I digress.
I would die for my Faith, my God, Christ, Mother Mary.
Here’s the deal. There are like cults of Mary in the Catholic Church out there are a little spooky. Mother Mary is a big reason why I became Catholic. And, I worshiped “The Goddess” for years. But, these cults are freaky even to me. Like if you say these words or wear this medal—you WILL get whatever you want. Miracles will happen.
To these sects, only saying one decade of the Rosary makes Mother Mary cry.
Again. I love the Rosary. The Rosary ushered me into Catholicism. I wear it every day in my bra. I hold it at night. From my hospitalization in 2012 when I begged my protestant dad to get me one and he pulled one out of his bag! I have not been parted from the Rosary. In the nut houses I fought to keep my Rosary. Pry it out of my cold dead hands. “Ya’ feelin’ lucky punk? Well, are ya?”
Shit. I feel guilt just for being alive. I’m mostly just sorry to exist. But I have decided—although I’ve not come to total peace with it—that saying one decade of the Rosary with my Heart, Soul, and Spirit is more authentic than saying five decades with my thoughts wandering and counting how many decades I have left.
I think that Pope Francis and Jesus would agree—if the intention isn’t there, then what’s the point of the action?
Today, instead of going to Mass. I went to my grandmother’s grave (not Nana) and said my prayers, read, and smoke a few cigarettes.
Sitting in my car with my Rosary clutched in my hands, my head resting on the steering wheel, asking God to forgive me of my sins, thanking him for all the Blessings I don’t deserve, praying for those I love, honoring my saints, and saying a decade of Rosary with the wind gently blowing, the crickets cricketing, the squirrels gathering, and the sun setting in pink-glory…I felt Mother Mary’s kiss, I felt Jed’s wings around me…
The above description is a mortal sin and against the law of God?
Who’s to judge?
God.
Smoke ‘em if ya’ got ‘em. God Bless
In the name of The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; Mother Mary, Saint Brigid; Saint Jude; Saint Therese Lisieux; Saint Peter; Archangel Michael, and my Guardian Angel.
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